Welcome to the Skills for Death
Development Centre. Here’s a pamphlet with a web address.
Click on it and you will encounter
The usual warning. If you carry on, we guarantee
That you will be enlightened.
We can offer courses
In falling gracefully: it’s most embarrassing
After a lifetime of unbroken bones
To break your nose in dying.
We have a stock of memorable last words
For a small fee, though we advise all students
To carry a printed card with their last words
Since even if articulated they may be
Forgotten or misremembered. Moving on
You can select
Modules on travelling down a long dark tunnel
Towards a distant light;
Bodily disengagement readjustment skills;
Downsizing, destination management;
And for a minority, hanging around old castles
Or bedrooms making sensitive souls uncomfortable.
I do apologise, ladies and gentlemen,
I’m not quite sure how this should end
But then that’s quite appropriate, don’t you think?