No, it’s not me. I’m turning aside from poetry for a moment to talk about TV programme magazines – the ones that tell you what’s on TV for the next week and when.
Inside the magazines is masses of well-organised information. The covers give a different impression, screaming at you to try to get you to buy. Apparently what most people are interested in is the soaps. As I don’t watch any, this just mystifies me. A big picture of a woman I don’t think I’ve ever seen comes with a headline like “DEBBIE IN TERRIBLE CRASH – WILL SHE LIVE?” It may seem callous, but I don’t care.
This week it was
WE’RE GETTING MARRIED!
BUT WHAT’S PETER HIDING?
(1): Getting married is what people tend to do at weddings, I’ve noticed.
(2): What’s Peter hiding? I don’t know. Female sexual parts? A teddy bear? An obsession with model railways? A season ticket for Manchester United? Body odour? Genital warts? The bodies of his six previous partners? A woolly bobble hat?